**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
