I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
