dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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