Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
