You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
