Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
