She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
