Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it's like iHOP with fire
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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