She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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