Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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