So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
