I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
