i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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