I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
