You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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