Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
