Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
