Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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