...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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