he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
