I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize