I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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