I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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