I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
