You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
