just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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