She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
