did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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