I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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