it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
