it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
