absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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