Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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