Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
areolas are like halos for boobs.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
