Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Congratulations! We have a period
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