Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
