Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
