I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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