doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
