Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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