Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Im part way to drunk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
