All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
