so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
