I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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