Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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