i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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