I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
