If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize