It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
