I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
