Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
