just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
