check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
