Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
they're like a gay fantastic four
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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