If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
