Apparently you make a good broom.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
