i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
